Virgin Shark Birth Explains Jesus Mystery

Recent DNA tests have proven that a female blacktip shark has given birth to a shark pup that contains no genetic data from a father shark. Essentially it was a virgin birth. (Right Click to open article in new window)

No sex was involved.

I have personally taken the liberty of calling the mama shark "Mary Virgin of God and Divine Holy Savior."

It was reported that three older male sharks, that many regard to be very "wise," paid a visit to the baby Jesus shark pup bringing gold, frankincense, and myrrh from a nearby sunken ship. None of which will be useful to the baby shark or it's mother. Especially since gold has no value to sharks and its really hard to light incense underwater.

(Our best guess as to what Jesus looks like now)

The sharks apparently followed the sound of a U.S. Coast Guard boat that was in the East in order to find the sweet little baby Jesus shark who was sent to us from Heaven to grace us with his glory.

This can bring us to only one conclusion: Heaven is actually underwater (descended/ascended...very easy to confuse), Mary descended and turned into a shark, and Jesus has come again IN SHARK FORM!

Global warming will raise the water levels and we will be at the mercy of all the sharks from Heaven (a.k.a. Judgment Time).

Peter Benchley was a prophet and Jaw's was a warning. Plain and simple people.

Don't say I never warned you.


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