12.03.2008

Church Breaks Apart After Hitting Fictional Moral Iceberg

Schism Over Proven Facts and Unprovable Guesses

The Episcopal Church is splitting into two groups.

Essentially, the more "conservative Episcopalians" are leaving the church and starting their own because they feel that the leadership of the current church is too "liberal."

Two main gripes that the conservative Episcopal members have involve a disagreement on "salvation" and their strong refusal to accept homosexuality.

Arguments began breaking out in 2003 when Episcopalians consecrated the first homosexual bishop... well... the first openly gay bishop...

This newly formed group of conservative Episcopalians claim that they "represent true Anglican beliefs."

Two points

ONE: How can you have a disagreement on "salvation"... let's be honest, nobody KNOWS what happens after we die.

TWO: If the American Psychological Association (APA), the largest and most prestigious association of its kind in the world, says that homosexuality is not a choice, not a disease, and not changeable... then what's the deal?

Looks like science and logic have run into a stubborn iceberg of conservative Episcopalians.

Expect to see the new sect's constitution released in the upcoming weeks... I know I'm excited... cough cough.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's hilarious...a conservative episcopalian is like saying an accepting nazi. Episcopalian is the most laughable religion ever. It's like Catholicism-light, half the rules quarter the guilt.

David Allen Acker said...

I tend not to equate "conservative" with "accepting"... nor do I equate "Episcopalian" with Nazi.

Maybe you weren't going for a direct comparison, but rather, perhaps you were just pointing out the audacity?

Episcopalian being the most laughable religion ever? I don't know... I think they all are pretty out there in many respects.

Catholicism has plenty of flaws and logic errors. Enough to sink like the Titanic.

David Allen Acker said...

Sidenote: I have some conservative family members and friends who are accepting of me as a homosexual.

However, to me that kind of sounds like being "accepting of black people."

a little backwards... but we will get there.

haha

Anonymous said...

not knowing what happens after you die is the only way you could possibly have a disagreement on salvation itself.

if we did know what happens after we die, the only issue would be whether or not salvation actually occurs.