Massive Power Outage Hits Florida, Old People

Incase you missed it, last week a widespread power outage hit an estimated 800,000 old people who have retired in Florida.   From Miami to Jacksonville, and even as far north as Tampa, the effects are being seen on Florida's east coast and the inconvenience is clearly frustrating for the senior citizens.

Gertrude 'Gerdy' Collinsworth told RPMS that she knew something was wrong when she woke up at the "crack o' dawn to stare at old photos" and it became apparent that her electrically charged hearing aid had not been replenished.

"I thought someone was being a wiseguy" said 89-year old Gerald Schmidt as he stood next to his mangled Cadillac.  "I mean, i don't usually pay much attention to traffic signals, but gosh golly I mind my P's and Q's."

Unsurprisingly, many of the dying folk who live in Florida did not seem to notice that anything was wrong.

Francis Steinemen, when interviewed by a YouReadyGrandma news correspondent declared that since he always rose "at the crack o' dawn" and went to bed before the "goddammed demon seed hooligans raise a hoot n' holler of a whippersnapper time" never noticed "a lick of a difference."

"Tommy Edison was a heathen" Steinemen added. "I went to grammar school with him, he was dumb as a stump."

In a related story, the population of Florida was cut in half during the power outage, as the vast majority of Floridians were on electrically-run life support systems.

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