Cambridge University Study: "Everyone is Correct"

A new study from Cambridge University released on Saturday revealed that everyone is always right.

Grandma contributor
Shane Dawkinsonzy

For years now you always thought your opinions and worldview were accurate, but now you can say, without a doubt, you are scientifically proven to always be in the right.

Dr. Tessa Blackman of Cambridge unveiled the news yesterday after a series of double-blind studies confirmed the unthinkable.

"It seemed it was a fluke at first, but after all the testing was done... it turned out that everyone was always right," stated Blackman.

Participants in the advanced tests were asked a series of questions by Cambridge scientists ranging from war justification, political ideals, civil rights issues and concerns about the environment. The results were staggering.

"Fifty-eight percent of the time subjects would usually know what we were asking about; regardless, they would always have a firm and unwavering stance." Blackman continued,"Now nobody has a reason to ever think anyone else is ignorant, uneducated or insane."

Dr. Blackman did warn that the study had subjects isolated from others and that there was no Wikipedia or facebook available.

"The lack of social media and a pseudo-encyclopedia left people without the ability to back up their positions by dragging in like-minded friends to the enemy's 'wall'. It also didn't allow for the copy and paste of information from sometimes trustworthy cited sources," explained Blackman.

"Let me put it this way, if you think that this study is faulty, then you are right, otherwise you are right, either way the other person will burn in hell," concluded Blackman.

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