Bible Lessons with David

If this really "grinds your gears" then leave a comment. You don't even have to read the whole post!

Although... it is recommended!

Should you be dead yet?

Leviticus 20:9
If anyone curses his father or mother, he must be put to death.

If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife—with the wife of his neighbor—both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death.

This one would kill a lot of us:

Exodus 35:2
For six days, work is to be done, but the seventh day shall be your holy day, a Sabbath of rest to the LORD. Whoever does any work on it must be put to death.

"Omnipotence, gotta get me some of that!" ~ Stewie, Family Guy

Deuteronomy 7:1-2
When the Lord your God brings you into the land you are entering to possess and drives out before you many nations . . . then you must destroy them totally. Make no treaty with them, and show them no mercy.
However, in the cities of the nations the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance, do not leave alive anything that breathes. Completely destroy them—the Hittites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites—as the Lord your God has commanded you.

Full Stewie Quote: "Yes, I rather like this God fellow. He's very theatrical, you know, a pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence. Gotta get me some of that."

God sounds kind of cuddly in this one:

Ezekiel 20:25-26 I also gave them over to statutes that were not good and laws they could not live by; I let them become defiled through their gifts—the sacrifice of every firstborn—that I might fill them with horror so they would know that I am the LORD.

Kinda sounds like a power hungry drag queen actually... just kidding... but seriously people, are you reading this stuff?

Women, pray that your men do not read the bible, because... well...Check this out :(

Ephesians 5:22-24
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Slavery is totally cool with God... the South shall rise again?!?!

Exodus 21:20-21
If a man beats his male or female slave with a rod and the slave dies as a direct result, he must be punished, but he is not to be punished if the slave gets up after a day or two, since the slave is his property.

1 Peter 2:13
Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every authority instituted among men.

Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh.


There are not any FOUR legged insects... and still...

Leviticus 11:20-22
All flying insects that walk on all fours are to be detestable to you. There are, however, some winged creatures that walk on all fours that you may eat: those that have jointed legs for hopping on the ground. Of these you may eat any kind of locust, katydid, cricket or grasshopper.

Hmmm... the earth must be flat still?

Matthew 4:8
The devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor.

MATH PROBLEMS = Not the Bible's strong point

1 Kings 7:23
He made the Sea of cast metal, circular in shape, measuring ten cubits from rim to rim . . . It took a line of thirty cubits to measure around it.

Actually...Pi (3.14) ... not 3

Psalms 104:5
He set the earth on its foundations; it can never be moved.

...hmmm it rotates and revolves around the sun...

Some Selected Contradictions from: http://home.earthlink.net/~owl233/biblequotes.htm

2 Kings 2:11
As they were walking along and talking together, suddenly a chariot of fire and horses of fire appeared and separated the two of them, and Elijah went up to heaven in a whirlwind.

John 3:13
No one has ever gone into heaven except the one who came from heaven—the Son of Man.
Numbers 23:19 God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind.
Exodus 32:14 Then the Lord relented and did not bring on his people the disaster he had threatened.
Ephesians 2:8-9 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith . . . not by works.
James 2:14-17 What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? . . . Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.
Revelation 22:12 Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done.
(Jesus speaking)
Matthew 5:16 Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your father in heaven.
Matthew 6:1 Be careful not to do your ‘acts of righteousness’ before men, to be seen by them.
(Jesus speaking)
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.
Matthew 10:34 Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.
Genesis 32:30 So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and my life was preserved.”
Exodus 33:11 The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend.
John 1:18 No one has ever seen God.
(Jesus speaking)
John 5:31 If I testify about myself, my testimony is not valid.
John 8:14 Even if I testify on my own behalf, my testimony is valid.



Kelly said...

Have you checked out any research out there that supports the belief in God? I feel like I can argue this all day, but in the end you won't believe me. I really hope that as you see contradictions, weird laws, and things you disagree with that you would try to find why Christians believe the way they do. Check the context of the verses you look up in the bible, not just on websites. Look into the history. You can't state your research as fact by looking up these random verses that seem to show Christianity as false. I really mean that Dave. I feel like if you dig a little you will understand it a little more. In the end, you still don't have to believe it, but some of the statements you make are just not valid.

Kevin said...

Kelly, I agree with you. I love Dave, yes Dave, I love you now shoo. To argue a point without knowing the history makes the argument nearly invalid. But on Dave's side there are so many ridiculous bible verses that I can't blame him for picking them out. I would love to talk to you on the matter more Kelly. I've done my research, spent about 20 years of my life devoted to christ including mission trips, leading a youth group, playing in a christian rock band, etc. Since then I have delved deeper into the bible and christianity than I ever did in church I realized that it comes up short on far too many aspects for me to believe it. I absolutely believe in a god, it is arrogant to think anything else, but if the christian god exists then I want nothing to do with him.

Anonymous said...

To Kelly:

I have read two books that many Christians claim to be incredibly inspiring and truthful: The Case for Christ and the Case for Faith by Lee Strobel.

After reading them, and taking a course in the Philosophy of Logic, I found that the arguments were emotionally based and that there were mostly ad hominem (definition: marked by or being an attack on an opponent's character rather than by an answer to the contentions made)attacks on those who do not believe.

I truly believe that a lot of religious people have not been reading their holy texts.

When I used to go to church every Sunday, as I did for 18 years, I only heard the same verses repeated over and over again.

Literally, after a few years you already knew what they were going to say once the reading started.

The verses that we tend to hear in church are, apparently, carefully gleaned from the Bible so that we only hear what the priests and leaders want us to hear.

Are there other parts of the bible that are more uplifting and positive?

Obviously yes!

However, people claim that the bible is "god inspired"... not just parts of it... THE WHOLE THING.

And as we already discussed, those who disregard the old testament still have several verses in the new testament to deal with that make no sense or are offensive at best.

So I feel that since they tend to only hear the happy, positive, or demonstrative parts, that it is perfectly fair for me to share the seldom heard portions.

Even when we look at the history of the context it is easy to see that there are big discrepancies in story telling and logic.

Truly, if the bible is "god-inspired" then why does the deity change its mind, attitude, and positions so often?

Doesn't this all point to the fact that this book may really just have been written by men out of personal convenience and wishful thinking? Perhaps yes!

Is there a god? Maybe.
Can we prove it? No.

So how can we pick one religion and then live our lives based on this guessing?

I know I can't.

Why not just live good happy lives where we care for others and do our best to spread joy?

The worst part, for me, is when people pick one religion, claim it to be the absolute truth, and then enforce their beliefs on others via judgment, hatred, discrimination, and their political voting.

Does this make sense to you?

Kelly said...

Makes a lot of sense. I get frustrated with the word "religion." I even get annoyed with "church" in general. The church is supposed to be a group of believers, encouraging and supporting each other. I'm not sure how it ever became a ritual we must practice. I think that someone living in the middle of the jungle can experience God, without ever having stepped foot in a church. And you're right, if Christians get so caught up in their religion that they forget to love, care and spread joy, then what is the point? I hope that in all of this you understand that although I do believe in the message of Christ, that I am not judging, discriminating or hating you or anyone else for feeling otherwise.
I feel like I did the whole youth group, Sunday school, church, bible school...blah blah blah (and you're right, it's repetitive and a lot of times not helping at all. It almost always produces "good" kids, who don't understand why they believe what they do). But it's when I actually would seek out God, and who He is and what His heart is for people, that I actually felt like I understand what I believe.
I'm almost hesitant to keep commenting...maybe I just need to be quiet. I'm not sure if me saying anything is doing any good...I know it is not my responsibility to change your mind, and I don't necessarily try to. It's just hard for me to read, when you are so right in so many ways...Christians need to realize a lot of what you're saying is true.

Anonymous said...

Well I highly doubt that I would ever pick a religion.

In fact if I had to right now I would pick Buddhism, which really isn't considered to be a religion by all who follow it.

I do believe that there COULD be a god, but I don't think there is any way to prove it.

On top of that, I don't think that any religion has an accurate description of what this deity COULD be like.

It all sounds like wishful thinking and the humanizing of a potential deity.