McCain Deemed Too Old & Shaky to Stabilize Economy, Opts to Debate Instead

After initially calling off tonight's Presidential Debate in Mississippi in order to single-handedly save America's economy, John McCain has decided to show up after all.

When asked why he suddenly changed his position, McCain campaign staffers said that he, "Couldn't, for the life of him, remember why he had flown to Washington in the first place."

Arriving in Washington D.C., the 72-year-old McCain de-boarded the plane and shakily croaked, "Where am I? Who are you people!"

Once briefed on his whereabouts and the economic situation it became clear that the senior Senator from Arizona was clueless as to how to solve the problem. When asked what his plan would be, McCain muttered something about the benefits of replacing wooden nickels with "one cent" pennies and Vietnam.

Later in the day, during a bi-partisan economic forum, a shouting match broke out between John McCain and a coat rack when he mistook the object for being "one of them damn e-mail machines."

The episode ended when his internet advisor, Cindy McCain, was called into the room to calm the hot-tempered Senator down.

But Seriously: Watch the Debate Tonight!


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