200 New Testaments Burned in Israel

Israeli police are looking into identifying and prosecuting the perpetrators in the recent burnings of over 200 copies of the New Testament in the city of Or-Yehuda.

Authorities were not certain as to why the New Testaments had been set aflame but have narrowed the possibilities down to:

- they were used as rolling papers by Jamaican tourists

- the 2nd half of the Bible is complete bullshit, but the first half is golden

- it got kinda cold and the air conditioner dial was jammed in "Jesus it's hot" mode

- Radical Muslims ... (unintelligible) ... airplanes ... (unintelligible) ...

- Local Jussawi Mzdorphenstein tripped while carrying the Olympic Torch past an improvised game of New Testament dominoes

- Less Bible = shorter sermons

- American Flags were on short supply

Attempts have been made to contact God for his opinion on the occurrence but so far He has not materialized, spoken with a booming voice in our heads, or returned any of my phone calls (sad face).

No comments: