Vatican: Women Don't Count

"ROME, Italy --The Vatican announced Thursday in a general decree that it will excommunicate anyone who would attempt to ordain a woman as a priest and the woman herself." - CNN.com

A national petition signed by priests from coast to coast reads: "The Vatican has made it clear that it only wants to hang out with men," adding, "I mean, seriously, we only sleep with boys anyway..."

The decree was not adhered to by Kathrine Nikoski, a program manager for Roman Catholic Women Who Like Little Boys. Nikoski was ordained two years ago.

"We like boys too... seriously," said Nikoski, a 89-year-old unwed grandmother who lives in Hot Wings, Alabam. She said her group is comprised of 9 to 15 year old boys who sleep with women priests. The Church refuses to recognize the women-priests, but is welcoming the boys with open arms.

"The Church has one of the last patriarchal hierarchies that it utilizes to get cute boys, and I don't know when they will be ready to share the wealth... besides, we all like to sleep with little boys."

Nikosi says she will continue her work as a stripper in a church daycare who celebrates mass in drag even if she is excommunicated.

She hopes that the church's "anti-boy sharing stance" will fizzle out. "I think we're getting more support from Catholics boys who are saying this is getting ridiculous, we aren't all gay" she said.