In a shocking turn of events, it seems that people are gearing up for the Fourth of July by doing the exact same type of shit they did last year.
The grills are out, the beer is somewhat cold, Grandma just shit in the pool and nobody is watching the kids.
Your creepy uncle showed up with a shit-ton of illegal fireworks in order to spend more time standing way too close behind you and whispering in your ear.
"That's it, get that fuse nice and hot. Yah! AND DON'T YOU F$#%@ING TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS!"
Your overweight alcoholic aunt has too much to drink and starts bitching about the left-wing media and how she wants her burger done medium-rare and how she only trusts Fox News and that you should share the chips because they are for everyone.
Three of the neighborhood kids lose fingers or become partially blinded. Grandpa is afraid that the dogs will eat the baby. Nobody can find the baby. Who the F put Grandpa in charge of the baby?
Showing posts with label FOX news. Show all posts
Showing posts with label FOX news. Show all posts
7.03.2011
6.12.2011
6.06.2011
Sarah Palin makes America's first ever political bus tour
Sarah Palin's bus tour around the country is garnering a lot of media attention; proving that Palin is the face of the Republican party.
"Just when many critics had all but dismissed Sarah Palin's political future, saying her negatives are too high, and her ability to address important issues lacking, she has used something as simple as a bus tour to confound them," says Fox News contributor Dr. Charles Dunn.
Indeed a bus tour is something that no potential political candidate has ever done before. Such a feat would leave any critic of Palin baffled, to be sure. Especially when Palin uses wide-sweeping vagueness to explain what she's doing.
“This isn't a campaign bus (Opening page of her site- "The 'One Nation Tour' is part of our new campaign..." http://www.sarahpac.com). This is a bus to be able to express to America how much we appreciate our foundation and to invite more people to be interested in all that is good about America and to remind ourselves we don't need to fundamentally transform America, we need to restore what's good about America," said Palin.
Indeed, Americans should appreciate our foundation and be interested in all that is good and restore what is good. Wow! I just remembered that I also like things that are good and would like to bring back other things that I personally thought were good that aren't really around anymore. And of course get rid of things that I think aren't good. Sarah Palin 2012 - Good.
Palin's bus tour, according to Dr. Dunn "speaks to the socially and religiously conservative heartbeat of Middle America. Sarah Palin understands what Ronald Reagan understood," Dunn continues, "To defeat Jimmy Carter, who said Americans were in a state of malaise, Reagan optimistically appealed to the potent political power of Middle America embodied in his slogan, 'It's morning in America'."
Dunn makes a great point here: the heartbeat of the country is in the red states only. So does that mean that the brain of the country lies elsewhere? Also, Palin knows what it takes to defeat black Jimmy Carter.
Dunn continues on to describe Palin's followers.
"They are on the whole patriotic and religious folks who appreciate what Sarah Palin represents. They like to see someone who represents their values making the headlines and forcing the hand of the media moguls and political power brokers."
A rare and intriguing insight here: People like to see people with the same views representing them on a large scale. Who would have thought?
Dunn claims that Palin's bus tour has thrown a "monkey wrench into the plans of Republican presidential aspirants, who must take her star-power prowess into consideration and adjust their campaigns accordingly."
He continues to say that whoever wins the Republican nomination "must have the support of Sarah Palin's large and loyal following to win the Presidency," whether or not she runs.
And of course, any other candidate who decided to use a bus tour would just be copying Palin's originality. Unless she approves of their decision.
So, in summation, Palin IS the face of the G.O.P. and she is calling the shots. This must be the case, since as of May 26th former Massachusetts governor, Mitt Romney, leads among candidates with 17% of Republicans and independents supporting him, followed by Palin, former VP candidate, with 15%.
"Just when many critics had all but dismissed Sarah Palin's political future, saying her negatives are too high, and her ability to address important issues lacking, she has used something as simple as a bus tour to confound them," says Fox News contributor Dr. Charles Dunn.
Indeed a bus tour is something that no potential political candidate has ever done before. Such a feat would leave any critic of Palin baffled, to be sure. Especially when Palin uses wide-sweeping vagueness to explain what she's doing.
“This isn't a campaign bus (Opening page of her site- "The 'One Nation Tour' is part of our new campaign..." http://www.sarahpac.com). This is a bus to be able to express to America how much we appreciate our foundation and to invite more people to be interested in all that is good about America and to remind ourselves we don't need to fundamentally transform America, we need to restore what's good about America," said Palin.
Indeed, Americans should appreciate our foundation and be interested in all that is good and restore what is good. Wow! I just remembered that I also like things that are good and would like to bring back other things that I personally thought were good that aren't really around anymore. And of course get rid of things that I think aren't good. Sarah Palin 2012 - Good.
Palin's bus tour, according to Dr. Dunn "speaks to the socially and religiously conservative heartbeat of Middle America. Sarah Palin understands what Ronald Reagan understood," Dunn continues, "To defeat Jimmy Carter, who said Americans were in a state of malaise, Reagan optimistically appealed to the potent political power of Middle America embodied in his slogan, 'It's morning in America'."
Dunn makes a great point here: the heartbeat of the country is in the red states only. So does that mean that the brain of the country lies elsewhere? Also, Palin knows what it takes to defeat black Jimmy Carter.
Dunn continues on to describe Palin's followers.
"They are on the whole patriotic and religious folks who appreciate what Sarah Palin represents. They like to see someone who represents their values making the headlines and forcing the hand of the media moguls and political power brokers."
A rare and intriguing insight here: People like to see people with the same views representing them on a large scale. Who would have thought?
Dunn claims that Palin's bus tour has thrown a "monkey wrench into the plans of Republican presidential aspirants, who must take her star-power prowess into consideration and adjust their campaigns accordingly."
He continues to say that whoever wins the Republican nomination "must have the support of Sarah Palin's large and loyal following to win the Presidency," whether or not she runs.
And of course, any other candidate who decided to use a bus tour would just be copying Palin's originality. Unless she approves of their decision.
So, in summation, Palin IS the face of the G.O.P. and she is calling the shots. This must be the case, since as of May 26th former Massachusetts governor, Mitt Romney, leads among candidates with 17% of Republicans and independents supporting him, followed by Palin, former VP candidate, with 15%.
5.14.2011
Bin Laden should still be alive?
Disregarding reality, the Monday morning political quarterbacking continues. Individuals of varying sanity levels have begun a pointless front-page debate about whether or not SEAL Team 6 should have killed Bin Laden.
Fox News opinion writer Ellen Ratner believes that we should have spared his life for research.
"There's been a debate about whether we should have tried to bring the terror mastermind back to the United States -- alive. I agree with Texas Congressman Ron Paul, we should not have killed Bin Laden if at all possible," said Ratner.
Although the root cause of Bin Laden brand terrorism is clearly a literal interpretation of his religious book, Ratner would rather have kept him alive and scanned his brain... because... well because she wished they had done that to Adolph Hitler as well.
"As PET scanners and fMRI tests became available later in the 20th Century, I couldn't help but wonder what Hitler's brain would have looked like under a scanner," states Ratner.
Ratner believes that this ONE person who was a religious terrorist should have been kept alive because, perhaps, the scanning of HIS specific brain could have told us why he did what he did. Really? Pay me the large amount of money you would have wasted doing this, let me shoot him in the face, and then I will tell you why he did it: He followed his religious book to the "T".
A brain scan of those with an exorbitant amount of religious zeal would provide more valuable information.
"The world might be a safer place in the future if we could have understood the anatomy and physiology of his brain," Ratner continued, "Some of the people who have been under these scanners have taught us a lot about criminal and violent minds."
Then she speculates about pornography... and.. ummm that might be interesting to have studied as well. Maybe she's just lonely?
"On Friday we learned that Bin Laden also had an extensive pornography stash in his Pakistan compound. Although, to be honest, officials have not been about to confirm if it belonged specifically to him or if he even viewed it. Nevertheless, let's assume the porn collection was his (great writing here) and that he did spend time viewing it. Now his brain becomes even more interesting especially since certain types of pornography and violence can be linked together."
Was this written by a high school student the night before it was due?
You can read the rest of her "article," in which she basically refutes her own argument. Her stance amounts to - "Look what we already know!!! Here's some generic information I found on Wikipedia... now let's speculate!"
Ratner: "The medical documentation for violent and criminal minds continues to grow. Marina Nakic, a post doctoral fellow in the lab of Dr. Jordan Grafman found that viewing violent images is enough to activate the prefrontal cortex. Other studies have focused on the amount of Serotonin in the brain as it relates to violence and willingness to fight. The University of Cambridge in England found that anti-social children have less Cortisol when they are in stressful situations. In most of us it increases with stress and in these kids with a specific personality disorder the body produced less of the hormone. Another study found that psychopath's brains were different in brain scans. A team from King's College in London found a structure in the brain, the uncinate fasiculus, is different in psychopaths than in normal people. Other researchers have found a link between Traumatic Brain Injury and criminal behavior. Was Bin Laden possibly dropped on his head by one of his parents or caregivers during his childhood? Did he and his many brothers engage in "horse play" that might have caused brain damage? No one knows, and with his brain becoming fish food, our answers are lost forever. We could have learned valuable information about one of the most dangerous criminal minds ever, and now only the Arabian Sea contains the answers."
Really Ellen Ratner? This is what you "contribute" to Fox News?
Fox News opinion writer Ellen Ratner believes that we should have spared his life for research.
"There's been a debate about whether we should have tried to bring the terror mastermind back to the United States -- alive. I agree with Texas Congressman Ron Paul, we should not have killed Bin Laden if at all possible," said Ratner.
Although the root cause of Bin Laden brand terrorism is clearly a literal interpretation of his religious book, Ratner would rather have kept him alive and scanned his brain... because... well because she wished they had done that to Adolph Hitler as well.
"As PET scanners and fMRI tests became available later in the 20th Century, I couldn't help but wonder what Hitler's brain would have looked like under a scanner," states Ratner.
Ratner believes that this ONE person who was a religious terrorist should have been kept alive because, perhaps, the scanning of HIS specific brain could have told us why he did what he did. Really? Pay me the large amount of money you would have wasted doing this, let me shoot him in the face, and then I will tell you why he did it: He followed his religious book to the "T".
A brain scan of those with an exorbitant amount of religious zeal would provide more valuable information.
"The world might be a safer place in the future if we could have understood the anatomy and physiology of his brain," Ratner continued, "Some of the people who have been under these scanners have taught us a lot about criminal and violent minds."
Then she speculates about pornography... and.. ummm that might be interesting to have studied as well. Maybe she's just lonely?
"On Friday we learned that Bin Laden also had an extensive pornography stash in his Pakistan compound. Although, to be honest, officials have not been about to confirm if it belonged specifically to him or if he even viewed it. Nevertheless, let's assume the porn collection was his (great writing here) and that he did spend time viewing it. Now his brain becomes even more interesting especially since certain types of pornography and violence can be linked together."
Was this written by a high school student the night before it was due?
You can read the rest of her "article," in which she basically refutes her own argument. Her stance amounts to - "Look what we already know!!! Here's some generic information I found on Wikipedia... now let's speculate!"
Ratner: "The medical documentation for violent and criminal minds continues to grow. Marina Nakic, a post doctoral fellow in the lab of Dr. Jordan Grafman found that viewing violent images is enough to activate the prefrontal cortex. Other studies have focused on the amount of Serotonin in the brain as it relates to violence and willingness to fight. The University of Cambridge in England found that anti-social children have less Cortisol when they are in stressful situations. In most of us it increases with stress and in these kids with a specific personality disorder the body produced less of the hormone. Another study found that psychopath's brains were different in brain scans. A team from King's College in London found a structure in the brain, the uncinate fasiculus, is different in psychopaths than in normal people. Other researchers have found a link between Traumatic Brain Injury and criminal behavior. Was Bin Laden possibly dropped on his head by one of his parents or caregivers during his childhood? Did he and his many brothers engage in "horse play" that might have caused brain damage? No one knows, and with his brain becoming fish food, our answers are lost forever. We could have learned valuable information about one of the most dangerous criminal minds ever, and now only the Arabian Sea contains the answers."
Really Ellen Ratner? This is what you "contribute" to Fox News?
4.24.2011
Fox News is... not news?!?????!?!
.... not news....not news? when is the news? a few hours a day? oh okay!
11.23.2008
Where's the Outrage Now?!?!
A Bomb threat in Vermont and Revolt Threats in California
FOX news has made it a point to only give homosexuals negative coverage. They have an agenda on this issue. Plain and simple.
Seriously, check this out...
Just one day after Vermont State Senator John Campbell declared that he would present a pro-same-sex marriage bill in an attempt to grant equal rights to homosexuals, he has already received a very serious threat.
The Senator received a phone call at the state government building from a woman who ominously threatened to blow up his house.
Where is FOXnews on this one!?!
FOX's online headlines and television pundits did not hesitate to report the "violence" that took place during the incredibly peaceful same-sex civil rights rallies that took place across the entire nation.
This "violence" they reported on equated to one woman walking into the middle of a big, but peaceful, protest with a rather large styrofoam cross. She entered the crowd by herself and started preaching to them carrying her cross.
The violence?
Someone took her fake cross from her hands and stepped on it on the ground. They did not harm a hair on her body. And anyone who has ever been to a protest KNOWS that this was a tame response considering her actions and her decision to walk alone into the middle of the crowd.
The other story Fox covered: A radical group called "Bash Back," which has no connection to the mainstream equal rights movement's methods or mentality, entered a church during mass with banners and fliers. Some of them kissed right in front of the priest.
So apparently those things were newsworthy to FOX, but not a bomb threat against a Senator.
OH AND GUESS WHAT ELSE THEY AREN'T REPORTING?!?!
Randy Thomasson, who is president of the Campaign for Children and Families has essentially threatened the California Supreme court because it is hearing 3 cases in regard to Proposition 8 and will, most likely, declare same-sex marriage bans to be unconstitutional.
(As they already had because they understand constitutional law, unlike the vast majority of the general public)
Thomasson stated that the California Supreme Court is, “playing with fire by threatening to destroy the people’s vote on marriage.” And that “if the court disobeys the constitution by voiding Prop. 8, it will ignite a voter revolt.”
Incase anyone was wondering, here's what the court said when it legalized same-sex marriages in California:
A) FOX decided to not have any coverage of the gay rights protests that took place from Anchorage, Alaska, to Boston, Massachusetts on the day they happened. Not a peep.
B) I predicted that they wouldn't cover the rallies unless they could portray homosexuals in a negative way
C) I was correct
D) They are not covering this much larger story of a BOMB THREAT AGAINST VERMONT SENATOR JOHN CAMPBELL.
Conclusion: FOX News has an anti-homosexual agenda.
Thanks Rupert Murdoch!
FOX news has made it a point to only give homosexuals negative coverage. They have an agenda on this issue. Plain and simple.
Seriously, check this out...
Just one day after Vermont State Senator John Campbell declared that he would present a pro-same-sex marriage bill in an attempt to grant equal rights to homosexuals, he has already received a very serious threat.
The Senator received a phone call at the state government building from a woman who ominously threatened to blow up his house.
Where is FOXnews on this one!?!
FOX's online headlines and television pundits did not hesitate to report the "violence" that took place during the incredibly peaceful same-sex civil rights rallies that took place across the entire nation.
This "violence" they reported on equated to one woman walking into the middle of a big, but peaceful, protest with a rather large styrofoam cross. She entered the crowd by herself and started preaching to them carrying her cross.
The violence?
Someone took her fake cross from her hands and stepped on it on the ground. They did not harm a hair on her body. And anyone who has ever been to a protest KNOWS that this was a tame response considering her actions and her decision to walk alone into the middle of the crowd.
The other story Fox covered: A radical group called "Bash Back," which has no connection to the mainstream equal rights movement's methods or mentality, entered a church during mass with banners and fliers. Some of them kissed right in front of the priest.
So apparently those things were newsworthy to FOX, but not a bomb threat against a Senator.
OH AND GUESS WHAT ELSE THEY AREN'T REPORTING?!?!
Randy Thomasson, who is president of the Campaign for Children and Families has essentially threatened the California Supreme court because it is hearing 3 cases in regard to Proposition 8 and will, most likely, declare same-sex marriage bans to be unconstitutional.
(As they already had because they understand constitutional law, unlike the vast majority of the general public)
Thomasson stated that the California Supreme Court is, “playing with fire by threatening to destroy the people’s vote on marriage.” And that “if the court disobeys the constitution by voiding Prop. 8, it will ignite a voter revolt.”
Incase anyone was wondering, here's what the court said when it legalized same-sex marriages in California:
So....The right to marry is among a set of basic human rights “so integral to an individual’s liberty and personal autonomy that they may not be eliminated or abrogated by the legislature or by the electorate through the statutory initiative process.”
A) FOX decided to not have any coverage of the gay rights protests that took place from Anchorage, Alaska, to Boston, Massachusetts on the day they happened. Not a peep.
B) I predicted that they wouldn't cover the rallies unless they could portray homosexuals in a negative way
C) I was correct
D) They are not covering this much larger story of a BOMB THREAT AGAINST VERMONT SENATOR JOHN CAMPBELL.
Conclusion: FOX News has an anti-homosexual agenda.
Thanks Rupert Murdoch!
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